MD Poll: The Man of Your Dreams

With close to half of the total votes, Inception's dreamy Tom Hardy was easily your "Boy of Summer", Class of 2010.

Wolfboy Taylor Lautner was a distant second, followed by Tom's fellow dream teamer Leonardo DiCaprio. See the comments section below for the complete results.

MD Poll: The Boys of Summer 2010

The end of the summer movie season is almost upon us, so it is time for our annual look back at the film actors that made it so memorable ... and judge them on their looks alone and anoint one the hottest cinematic hunk of the past four months or so!

This year's batch is filled with some familiar faces (Leo, Jake, the Twilight guys) alongside some "fresh meat" (Inception hottie Tom Hardy, Sex and the City 2's sizzling Max Ryan), plus a surprise stud who is technically nearing 50 years old.

Take your pick and place your vote in the MD Poll located in the right hand sidebar. The ultimate summer movie hunk, class of 2010, will be crowned September 25.

UPDATE: This poll is now closed; click here for the results, and click here to vote in the latest MD Poll.

Reverend's Reviews: Vampires & Vigilantes

I feel way too old to have spent six hours in the past year or so viewing The Twilight Saga. While it is easy to understand the super-successful supernatural book and movie series' appeal for romance-hungry teenage girls, their shared plot is pretty insipid stuff for anyone over the age of 17.

Obviously, I'm no "Twi-hard." However, my allegiance in the heated teenybopper debate between "Team Edward" (those devoted to the sullen vampire played by Robert Pattinson) and "Team Jacob" (fans of hunky, frequently shirtless werewolf Taylor Lautner) is to the latter. Lautner has charisma that Pattinson sorely lacks, although The Twilight Saga: Eclipse gives Pattinson the opportunity to play a wider range of emotions than in the first two movies. He even gets to smile and laugh! I hope he charged the producers extra.

Kristen Stewart continues to be hamstrung in the central role of Bella. Her expression is most often one of eyes-downcast blankness, but when she becomes concerned or afraid she appears constipated. I'm also increasingly frustrated by Bella's powerlessness at doing anything to help her situation. This isn't Stewart's fault, of course. The character is written as a pawn in the jealous-romantic (and sort of homoerotic, especially during a scene set in a frigid camping tent) rivalry between Edward and Jacob and, by extension, vampires and werewolves.

Edward and Bella get engaged by the end of Eclipse, but not much else happens in the movie. There's a lot of talk about how "a war is coming" to the characters' town of Forks, Oregon thanks to a bloodthirsty band of powerful "newborn" vampires created by Edward's arch nemesis, Victoria (a good but too-brief turn by Bryce Dallas Howard). Every time the film develops momentum toward this showdown, though, it is interrupted by a father-daughter chat, a marriage proposal, or one of Jacob's temper tantrums. And when Victoria's "army" finally arrives, it's maybe a dozen-strong and hardly an imposing force. The "war" is over in five minutes. With all the money the Twilight movies are raking in, couldn't they have afforded to hire some more actors or at least add a hundred or so vampires digitally?

Eclipse isn't awful but, like its two predecessors, it is a largely listless, apathetic affair. The last film, New Moon, perked up in its final half hour thanks to the intervention of some accomplished actors — notably Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning — as evil but humorous members of the vampire ruling class, the Volturi. Fanning reappears in Eclipse but all too sparingly.

There is reason to hope, though, that the upcoming adaptation of the series' final book, Breaking Dawn, will be an improvement over what has come before. Oscar-winning gay screenwriter-director Bill Condon (Gods & Monsters, Chicago, Dreamgirls) has been hired to helm the two-part finale. Maybe he'll give Bella a song or two and finally allow Jacob and Edward to acknowledge their latent attraction to each other!

I'm also happy to announce that another film adaptation from what is currently a truly literate literary phenomenon (no, not Harry Potter) is now hitting movie screens. The Girl Who Played With Fire is the second work — following The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo — in the late Swedish author Stieg Larsson's bestselling Millennium trilogy. The film version is opening next Friday, July 9, in a number of US cities.

It depicts the continuing adventures of crusading journalist Mikael Blomkvist (once again played by the very good Michael Nykvist) and the brilliant, abused and vengeful computer hacker Lisbeth Salander (the still-excellent Noomi Rapace). Separated for two years, they set out together via cyberspace to take down a ruthless sex trafficker and his cronies. Salander remains fiercely bisexual, and the new film features a steamy tryst between her and her best friend, Miriam Wu (Yasmine Garbi).

Director Daniel Alfredson took the reins from Dragon Tattoo's Niels Arden Oplev for the sequel. Oplev had a better handle on the technological dimensions of the story and making them exciting for viewers. The first film also had a slightly more engrossing plot, with a decades-old unsolved mystery as its driving force. The Girl Who Played With Fire is essentially two hours of waiting for a "will they or won't they" physical reunion between Salander and Blomkvist. The movie ends in something of a cliffhanger that will presumably be resolved in the third and final film, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, which is scheduled for US release this October.

Still, The Girl Who Played With Fire is an effective cinematic take on a book series that has challenging things to say about women and men, sexuality, abuse and power. The Twilight Saga, which purports to cover some of the same territory, are simplistic children's storybooks in comparison.

Reverend's Ratings:
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: C
The Girl Who Played With Fire: B

UPDATE: The Girl Who Played With Fire is now available on DVD and Blu-ray and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is now available on DVD and Blu-ray from Amazon.com.

Review by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

Reverend’s Preview: Forecast: A Hot Summer at the Movies

The month of May might be best known in local GLBT circles as the celebratory start to a summer full of Pride celebrations, but it is also the annual beginning of Hollywood’s biggest season. While many of the studios’ offerings will be loud, overblown spectacles geared to kids and teens out of school, there are more than a few more adult-oriented offerings with appeal to GLBT moviegoers.

Based on advance word and my personal survey of several studio and independent films’ public relations reps, the following are films we should consider lining up for between now and the end of August. They are listed in order of their scheduled release dates, but please note these dates are subject to change.

Iron Man 2 (May 7): Robert Downey Jr.’s tongue-in-cheek performance powered the Marvel superhero’s first big-screen adventure to record grosses two years ago. Downey and Gwyneth Paltrow return and face off against Russian baddies played by the lovely Scarlett Johansson and a resurgent Mickey Rourke. While Rourke doesn’t fulfill every gay man’s ideal of physical beauty, the film’s trailer reveals The Wrestler Oscar-nominee sporting nothing more than tighty-whities in one scene.

OSS 117: Lost in Rio (May 7): I’m just going to quote from the press release to describe this one: “France’s top secret agent, a cross between James Bond and Austin Powers, teams up with a beautiful Mosad colonel whose mini skirt and kinky boots disguise dangerously forward-thinking views on women’s lib and world politics.” Mexican wrestlers, a man-eating alligator and risqué sexual humor also figure into the plot. What’s not to like?

Robin Hood (May 14): Although star Russell Crowe is on the record saying neither himself nor his male co-stars wear tights in this new take on the classic hero, Crowe is always worth watching and Cate Blanchett co-stars as Maid Marion. Maybe Crowe will at least have a skinny-dipping scene like Kevin Costner (or, rather, Costner’s butt double) did in 1991’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves!

Sex and the City 2 (May 27): In what may be the summer’s campiest movie, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her BFFs Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Miranda (out actress Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) return for a globetrotting adventure but don’t lack for high fashion or cocktails! Mario Cantone and Willie Garson are also back as the quartet’s gay pals, with no less than Penélope Cruz, Liza Minnelli and Miley Cyrus (?) making cameos.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28): Jake Gyllenhaal of Brokeback Mountain fame sports long hair, a leather codpiece and buffed-up biceps in this video game-inspired fantasy from mega producer Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean). Again, I ask: What’s not to like?

Stonewall Uprising (June 18): A documentary that uses archival film footage to trace events and cultural attitudes that culminated in the infamous police raid on New York’s Stonewall Inn in June 1969. The patrons’ counter-attack marked the birth of the GLBT movement; billed as “the first non-fiction film to tell the story of the Stonewall riots by the participants.”

Toy Story 3 (June 18): Action figures Woody the Cowboy and Buzz Lightyear (again voiced by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, respectively) resume their CG “bromance,” this time in 3-D. The series’ regulars are joined by Barbie’s boy toy Ken (Michael Keaton), as well as a new character with the unfortunate name “Mr. Pricklepants” (former James Bond, Timothy Dalton).

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30): While teenaged girls are this successful book and film chronicle’s main fans, I know a few gay men smitten by its lovelorn vampire, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), and/or heroine Bella’s werewolf friend, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). Dakota Fanning also returns as the mind-controlling Jane, and Bryce Dallas Howard (director Ron Howard’s daughter) assumes the role of Edward’s jilted former lover, the vicious Victoria.

Love Ranch (June 30): A fictional account of Nevada’s brothel industry, starring Oscar-winners Helen Mirren (The Queen) and Joe Pesci (GoodFellas) as the purveyors of one of the state’s first such legal establishments. Problems arise when a South American boxer played by hottie Sergio Peris-Mencheta comes between them. Expect plenty of skin, both female and male.

The Kids Are All Right (July 7): This dramedy focusing on two adult children raised by a lesbian couple (Oscar nominees Julianne Moore and Annette Bening) who decide to seek out their sperm-donor father (Mark Ruffalo) was well received at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Written and directed by lesbian filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko (High Art, Laurel Canyon).

Inception (July 16): From Christopher Nolan, the writer-director of Memento and the last two, super-successful Batman movies, comes a mind-bending science fiction saga about a corporate raider who steals the dreams of business tycoons, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. The film’s great supporting cast includes Joseph Gordon-Levitt (of the gay-themed Latter Days and Mysterious Skin) and Juno star/emerging lesbian favorite Ellen Page.

Dinner for Schmucks (July 23): Cuties Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, so funny together in The 40 Year Old Virgin, co-star as an unsuspecting dork (Carell) recruited by a callous executive (Rudd) as a pawn in a mean-spirited contest. Things don’t quite go as planned, and the two end up as friends rather than adversaries. From director Jay Roach of the Meet the Parents and Austin Powers film series.

Beastly (July 30): A contemporary spin on the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast, starring Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical fame as Beauty to Alex Pettyfer’s disfigured teenager looking for true love. Out actor and awards show host Neil Patrick Harris is also featured in the cast.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (July 30): Bette Midler gives voice to the villainous feline of the subtitle, who is bent on world domination. This sequel to 2001’s Cats & Dogs (which featured the voice of the recently out Sean Hayes) is likely kids’ stuff, but GLBT pet owners may find it somewhat true-to-life.

The Girl Who Played With Fire (July): The second of Stieg Larsson’s international bestsellers involving bisexual computer-hacker Lisbeth Salander (strong and sexy Noomi Rapace) comes to the big screen quickly on the heels of the hit The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This time around, Salander and journalist Mikael Blomkvist go after the highly-placed leaders of a sex-trafficking ring.

The Extra Man (July): Described as “charming” and “howlingly funny,” this film centers on a young, aspiring writer (Paul Dano of Little Miss Sunshine and There Will Be Blood) who moves to New York City, where he befriends a failed playwright-turned-escort played by Kevin Kline. Think of it as The Great Gatsby crossed with Midnight Cowboy.

Also watch for several GLBT-themed movies that don’t have definite release dates yet: Spring Fever, Hideaway/Le Refuge and Out Late. And if these offerings aren’t enough for you, there will be GLBT movies galore screened as part of both the 9th Annual Dance Camera West and Los Angeles Film Festivals in June and, of course, the 28th annual Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, a.k.a. Outfest.

Preview by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

MD Polls: Next Stop, Wonderland

When it comes to picking your "must see" movie of 2010, Movie Dearest readers proved their mad about the hatter:

Tim Burton's sure-to-be-trippy take on the Lewis Carroll classic Alice in Wonderland (starring his muse, Johnny Depp, as the hatter in question) came out on top in the latest MD Poll. In doing so, it soundly defeated another blockbuster-to-be based on a popular British book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Part 1, which placed second.  The catch-all "other" rounded out the top 3.

See the comments section below for the complete stats, and stay tuned for our epic Oscar polls, to be posted later today.

MD Poll: For What Movie Do You Yen in 2010?

It's a new year (and a new decade), with plenty of new and exciting films just around the bend. But which one is your absolute must see for 2010?

Is it the latest adventures of Harry Potter, Buzz and Woody, Iron Man, Carrie Bradshaw or the Twilight gang? How about new versions of such old favorites as Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans or Robin Hood? Or do you just want to see more of Jake looking like this?

Make your choice and place your vote in the MD Poll located in the right hand sidebar. The ultimate "must see" movie of '10 will be revealed Saturday February 6.

UPDATE: This poll is now closed; click here for the results, and click here to vote in the next MD Poll.

Reel Thoughts: The 2010 Neelys!

These are the first Neelys Awards of the new decade, named after Patty Duke's boozy, doped-up character in Valley of the Dolls. They’re bestowed with love, even for the Worst 10, because I love seeing bad movies as much as good movies; in both cases, they move me ... even if it is just a run for the exit.

Here are the best 2009 had to offer:

1. Up in the Air: Jason Reitman (Juno and Thank You for Smoking) keeps getting better and better as a director, and his new film is the perfect tale for our time of economic disaster. George Clooney hasn’t been this effortlessly charming in a long time, and his banter with Vera Farmiga elevated a bad movie year immensely. Anna Kendrick could have been clichéd but instead became someone you cared about as Clooney’s know-it-all colleague.


2. Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino’s fantastic, Nazi killin’, bloody fun exploitation flick has scenes of suspense that Hitchcock would envy. Brad Pitt is a hoot, Christoph Waltz is scary good, and both Diane Kruger and Mélanie Laurent are strong, powerful women in Tarantino’s deft bit of historical wish fulfillment. It’s like a feel-good Valkyrie, and I loved every grossly hilarious minute.

3. A Single Man: Is it style over substance that makes Tom Ford’s film feel less involving than other top picks? Perhaps, although Colin Firth is heartbreaking in the lead role of George Falconer, a closeted gay man in 1962 Los Angeles who is so bereft at the death of his partner, he spends one long day planning to kill himself. Ford’s vision is exquisite, and A Single Man is a timeless classic of love lost, and society’s callous indifference.


4. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire: At one time, Precious was my top film of the year, but on second thought, others rose higher. The outspoken Lee Daniels’ brutally real depiction of a young girl’s struggle to escape poverty and abuse makes for a gripping, unforgettable film. Gabourey Sidibe is amazing in the title role, while Mo’Nique is shocking in her fiercely hateful performance as Precious’ mother from hell.

5. Julie & Julia: Meryl Streep is the incandescent embodiment of Julia Child, while Amy Adams is less lucky with her half of Nora Ephron’s comic drama. When a film makes you cheer a well-cooked meal, you know it’s something special, and Julie & Julia is never more special than when Streep is on screen.


6. A Serious Man: The Coen Brothers have a merciless way of treating their characters, and Michael Stuhlbarg’s hapless Larry Gopnik fares no better. Was his family cursed by the Dybbuk (Jewish evil spirit) that entered the otherwise unconnected opening scene? I’m not sure, but I am sure that the Coens captured their late 60s Jewish and collegiate worlds perfectly, in a story that rivals the Book of Job.

7. District 9: After seeing the gritty realism that infuses Neill Blomkamp’s hard-hitting sci-fi take on Apartheid, Avatar looks like a video game. I hate seafood, but I was cheering on the alien prawns to victory, hoping against hope that the ET’s would do more than just phone home.


8. Sherlock Holmes: Sure, the film is popcorn entertainment, but Guy Ritchie makes a thrilling leap into period action, while Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law take honors as the couple of the year, even if their love dare not speak its name.

9. The Messenger: This story of two men charged with notifying the next of kin when servicemen are killed really resonates. Every person killed in action leaves a huge hole in their family’s lives, as The Messenger reminds us. Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson give milestone performances.


10. The Year in Animation: It’s kind of a cheat, but the tenth best films were the fine animated films Up, Fantastic Mr. Fox and Coraline. Up was Pixar’s most mature film yet, with profound messages about love and loss. Fantastic Mr. Fox finally made me like Wes Anderson, with visually gorgeous stop-animation and a wicked Roald Dahl story. Coraline was also a visual treat, with a creepy tale about getting what you wish for ... and regretting it.

Now the time has come to reward the horrid and reveal the vile. The Neelys 2010 are a little different this year, because I’ve decided to give each movie its own award of shame:

— The Sudoku Award for Most Aggravating Number-Obsessed Movie: Nicolas Cage’s Knowing, which somehow never knew how annoying and illogical it was.


— The Can We Revoke His Visa Award for Bad Citizenship Award: Gerard Butler’s ridiculous revenge flick, Law Abiding Citizen, wherein he rights the unfair murder of his wife by killing countless other folks.

— The Not-So-Gleeful Award for Incompetent Choir Movies: The excruciating Mark Pease Experience. You know it’s really bad when Jason Schwartzman isn’t the worst part of the film. That would be Ben Stiller in floppy hair.

— The That’ll Kill Your Résumé Award for Worst Buzz Kill to its Stars’ Careers: Sandra Bullock had an amazing year (The Proposal and The Blind Side), until you realize that she produced the steaming pile of rom-com crap known as All About Steve. Ditto Bradley Cooper, whose hangover will commence once he spots this incompetent trash on cable. Stalker comedy is bad enough, but did they have to steal and ruin a perfectly good gay film title?


— The That Joke is Jurassic Award: Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell’s painfully awful reboot of the cheesy Saturday morning kids’ show. When the height of comedy is Ferrell’s love of A Chorus Line, you know the humor well’s run dry.

— The Roe vs. Wade Award for a Movie That Should Have Been Aborted: In The Unborn, Odette Yustman is tormented by the evil spirit of her dead fetal twin. The audience is tormented by bad dialogue and cheap scares, and Judaism is set back two thousand years by its lame-brained mysticism.

— The “I Know Anne Archer, and You, Beyoncé, Are No Anne Archer” Award: The ludicrous Fatal Attraction rip-off Obsessed contains a weird bit of reverse racism wherein the devil lady Ali Larter stops at nothing to ruin Beyoncé’s happy home, with none of that pesky psychological suspense to get in the way. Lame catfights ensue.


— The Angelina’s Nightmare Award for Worst Adoption Movie: Following Orphan, Vera Farmiga would be forgiven if she never wants to play a mother again. First, in Joshua, she has a little devil boy. Even worse, in Orphan she has … Peter Sarsgaard as a husband! The horror! And that’s before they adopt a nasty little Eastern European tot with a daddy fixation. There’s good schlock, and then there’s trash like Orphan. No wonder adoption advocates were up in arms over the film!

— The “Does 3-D Stand for Dim-Witted, Depressing and Dull?” Award: With The Final Destination, the most tired entry in the Final Destination series, even 3-D couldn’t bring it back to life. Filled with the worst actors, the laziest plotting and the least imaginative death scenarios, it’s almost as if the series cheated death, only to be killed off by this lame sequel.

— The Prop 8 Award for Worst Wedding Testimonial: The wretched chick flick Bride Wars pits Anne Hathaway against best friend Kate Hudson as battling bridezillas bound and determined to be married at the Plaza Hotel. If this is marriage, who wants it?


— The Isaiah Washington Award for Worst Use of the F-Word: The Hangover, an otherwise entertaining film, is ruined by homophobic “guy banter” like Bradley Cooper yelling “Paging Dr. F****t!” at Ed Helms and gross groomsman Zach Galifianakis freaking out when a tailor measures his inseam.

— Finally, the Neely for Worst Film of the Year is the Chemical Castration Award for Worst Cinematic Man-Whore: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was Matthew McConaughey squandering his remaining sex appeal on a sour holiday fable about a jerk who uses women, then supposedly grows a heart and soul. Now that Taylor Lautner’s grown killer abs, we don’t even need to see Matthew shirtless, so he had better choose his next projects more wisely.

Lastly (and certainly least), it’s time for the coveted Elizabeth Berkley Awards for acting below and against the call of duty.


This year’s Worst Actor pains me to announce, because he’s just so damn hot ... until he opens his mouth. Channing Tatum’s deadly dull performance in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra actually acts as an anti-aphrodisiac, negating his obvious assets while it kills your brain cells watching it.

This year’s Worst Actress just keeps getting work (including what I hope will be her first good performance as Joan Jett in Runaways) despite a complete lack of apparent ability. Kristin Stewart in The Twilight Saga: New Moon gave new meaning to the word “underplaying”, as she barely seems awake throughout the film. No emotion is within her grasp and no line is dramatic enough to rouse her from her stupor. Stewart makes Chloë Sevigny look like Vanessa Redgrave in comparison.

It’s a new decade, so here’s hoping that 2010 brings a better class of films!

By Neil Cohen, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and Phoenix's Echo Magazine.

Monthly Wallpaper - January 2010: 2009 - The Year in Film

As 2009 comes to a close, it is time to look back on the year in film, and what better way then with the Movie Dearest calendar wallpaper for next month!

22 of 2009's most popular movies make up the collage, so you can spend all of January gazing at the likes of Brüno, Carl, Carla, Coraline, George, Jacob, Julia, Logan, Max, Precious, Ryan, Salvador, Spock, Summer and all the rest. What a way to start off a new year ... and a virtual Academy Award to the first MD reader who can correctly name in the comments section below all 22 movies pictured in the collage!

Just click on the picture above to enlarge it to its 1024 x 768 size, then right click your mouse and select "Set as Background", and you're all set. If you want, you can also save it to your computer and set it up from there, or modify the size in your own photo-editing program if needed.

Awards Watch: Grammy Nominations 2009

As far as movie music goes, the Grammys seem to like vampires, slumdogs and Michael Giacchino. The composer was nominated four times for his work on Star Trek and Up, including competing against himself for Best Score Soundtrack Album.

Below is the complete list of Grammy nominations in the categories covering film, television and stage recordings, with links to purchase the albums at Amazon.com:

Best Musical Show Album:
- Ain't Misbehavin'(30th Anniversary Cast Recording)
- Hair(New Broadway Cast)
- 9 to 5: The Musical(Original Broadway Cast)
- Shrek: The Musical(Original Broadway Cast)
- West Side Story(New Broadway Cast)

Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media:
- Cadillac Records
- Inglourious Basterds
- Slumdog Millionaire
- True Blood
- Twilight

Best Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media:
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
- Milk
- Star Trek
- Up

Best Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media:
- "The Climb" from Hannah Montana: The Movie
- "Decode" from Twilight
- "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire
- "Once in a Lifetime" from Cadillac Records
- "The Wrestler" from The Wrestler